


your hand grips hand as my eyes shut

by mazinglyblue



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, Cheryl/Joaquin friendship, Established Relationship, F/F, How Do I Tag, Protective Toni Topaz, Soft Toni Topaz, Southside Serpent Jughead Jones, choni are girlfriends, hell breaks loose, in love cheryl blossom, mentions of parental abuse, not so soft actually, the blossom curse, the serpents are actually very good people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 06:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14538972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mazinglyblue/pseuds/mazinglyblue
Summary: Spoiler alert regarding the Black Hood and 2x18 mainly for now, but it could extend to further episodes“People are scared, Cher. The Southside is – and I quote – “a den of sinners”. They feel targeted and they don’t trust the Northside or Sheriff Keller.”She paused for a second, looking for a reaction in the ginger’s face, but receiving nothing in return.“They trust the Serpents.”That's when Chery Blossom completely forgot about her breakfast.ORThe Serpents might or might not decide to go after the Black Hood. Which might or might not affect Cheryl and Toni's relationship.





	1. elegant and bold

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there everyone! First time writing choni, so I would super appreciate it if you guys let me know what if you think - I'm mostly worried if the characters are too OOC or not. Currently working on that.  
> English is not my first language, so I also apologize for any typos or mistakes!
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoy it, more chapters are to follow!
> 
> the title comes from a song which I really associate with this fic, "Breezeblocks", by alt-J. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVeMiVU77wo
> 
> the chapter's title, however, is from "Georgia" by Vance Joy (which is also a really good song if you ask me)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQMbHNofCzw

Surprisingly enough, Cheryl Blossom never was a fan of fights. She never quite learned how to handle them; after all, no one ever taught her. According to what her vicious parents were able to show her throughout her life, you plot against someone behind their backs; so you get what you want easily. If things go south before you can do anything, _always_ get your awarded revenge. She had been raised to think that everyone was out to get her and no one would ever love her for who she was.

So she complied with whatever her parents asked her to do, time after time, even if it meant creating a whole new Cheryl and wear it as a mask. It got tiring, sure, exhausting even, but she had no choice. She was just another inmate trapped in the crystal prison that was Thornhill, and Thistlehouse after that. Sharp enough to cut deep, all the way to her soul; yet still made of glass. It could shatter into a million pieces if she just made the right move.

However, she never quite understood how to properly “communicate”, either. If she felt hurt, or humiliated, or disrespected, she would just act like it never happened. She was a master in bottling things up, she would **not** crack out in the open; not for anyone.

 

 _“No one cares if you cry, Cheryl.” Penelope Blossom had told – no, screamed at her once, anger in her voice, disgust in her eyes. Those feelings were accompanying her mother whenever she addressed her, nowadays. It hadn’t always been like that, she used to be so indifferent to her daughter, pretending like she wasn’t there. Now, it was worse. It got worse and worse over time. She must have been at least thirteen. That morning, her brother was supposed to be sleeping over to one of his friends’ house, so Cheryl finally had his whole teenage-boy room to herself. She woke up around five in the morning, so she would not arouse any suspicions. Usually, the only people awake that early were “_ the servants _”, as her monster of a mother used to call their employees; so that they could start making breakfast for them._

 _Cheryl sneaked silently out of her room and into Jason’s, her steps light as feathers, moving quickly and graciously. She found every sort of things in her brother’s room; they weren’t talking as much as they did before; he had been moved up a year and was officially a freshman at Riverdale High. The golden boy, receiving prize after prize, award after award from life and everyone who surrounded him; and all because he existed. She recognized his state-of-the-art laptop, of course, given to him as a gift from her parents when he made it into the Varsity Football team. She went through his clothes, in the closet, and tried on some. She put on his Buzz Lightyear boxers, his favorites; took off her bra and wore his football sweatshirt. “_ **BLOSSOM** ” _was printed on the back, a big nine just underneath it. She lay on his bed, looking at the ceiling while trying to listen to her body, to the sound of birds she could hear outside. She breathed in on Jason’s scent, attempting to imagine what it was like to be him._ Wanting _desperately to_ be _him, just for a day. She imagined how it felt to be loved, both by her mother and her father; how it felt to have friends to spend the night with and having fun together. Lastly, she imagined how it felt to hold someone, a_ girl _in her arms. How_ she _would feel under her hands, on her lips. While Cheryl’s right hand wandered hesitantly on the red rubber band of the boxers, her left hand went behind her, touching the back of her head, to relax. When the goose down pillow seemed harder than it should have been, she turned around, looked closer. With a soft chuckle, she smiled at her perfect brother’s copy of a porn magazine, hidden in the pillowcase. She opened it, slowly, looking attentively. The magazine gave her unusual, unnatural thoughts about the women in the pages. She didn’t want to look like them, she wanted to hold them. The thought scared her greatly, yet sparked a newfound excitement in her, at the same time. Her right hand wandered further, deeper into her panties with every passing page._

 _Then, the yelling had started, the cursing, the insulting and the scary, heavy hands of her mother slapping her; once, twice, three times. She did_ not _see it coming. “No one cares if you cry, Cheryl.” It vaguely reminded her of a raging hyena at first; evil eyes, annoying voice and all. “So you might as well stop.” She mouthed solemnly, her voice was lower, her words heavy, one after the other. She looked at her own daughter with a scowling gaze; a gaze that was incomprehensible on Cheryl’s side of the bed. “We are **not** allowed to frown, young girl. We don’t have time for that.” The only thing her own body could communicate was fear, a paralyzing dark cloud which spread and spread further, with every passing second her mother spent silently. Inspecting her. “We scare, manipulate and we make them fear us.” She paused for a second, the girl sitting on the bed definitely confused about who she might be referring to. “That’s the only way you’re **ever** going to get anything in that useless life of yours.” Penelope stepped closer, not moving too fast, knowing far too well the power she had over her daughter. Perhaps, to her, she was just giving her a life lesson. Being a good mother. When she dared to look at the ground, in a failed attempt to hide her tears, her chin was grasped harshly. “Are you even a Blossom, girl?” It was only a whisper, but Cheryl could hear the question echoing in her head. “Are you?” Her whole body was tense, desperate to be out of that grasp and out of that room as soon as possible. “Yes, mommy. I am.” That was all she could murmur, barely audible; to Penelope though, it was more than enough. “I wish you weren’t. Now get out of this room before I start punishing you as you’d deserve!” The younger Blossom ran out of her brother’s room as fast as she could; and she never dared to put another step in it, until he died. That was the day she understood once and for all how her family worked. Obey, no matter what, no questions asked. That was her survival kit, hopefully out of that infinite nightmare._

Sitting on the kitchen counter, a not-so-older Cheryl Blossom sipped on her freshly made coffee, while scrolling through her phone. She slowly brushed her chin, remembering her mother’s grip on it as if it were yesterday. The thought gave her the chills, so she was very glad to hear her favorite voice in the world seconds later.

 

“Good Morning, princess!”

 

Toni Topaz appeared on the doorstep, a Krispy Kreme bag in her hands. That charismatic smile of hers got Cheryl every time, there was no escaping. She got up, walking towards her with a smile just as bright as Toni’s and stood _very_ close to her girlfriend.

 

“Good Morning to you too, Topaz.”

 

The redhead landed a kiss on the very side of the other girl’s lips, swiping the bag from her when she was distracted. She opened it, victoriously finding her favorite doughnuts in it (chocolate iced doughnuts with a raspberry filling, thank you very much). The fact that Toni knew stuff like this about her, “stuff” that no one had ever been interested in – it caused the so-called butterflies in her stomach to twirl. Love had been such a colored and intense discovery, she felt like she never had enough of it – she never had enough of Toni. Especially not with the latest events that had been happening, she seemed to be needing _her_ even more. To remind herself that not everything was death or evil or void.

The warm smile on the smaller girl’s mouth hadn’t changed, if anything, it got warmer. Doing little things like these, making Cheryl happy even if it was just for a moment; it made her feel good. However, her features weren’t relaxed. Judging from the grimace of bitterness on her face, it must have been something big, too. Or so thought Cheryl as she glared at her girlfriend moving around the kitchen. She could _feel_ Toni’s uneasiness grow by the minute, as though something was really bothering her.

 

“You’re worried.”

 

She just stated, taking a bite of her long craved breakfast, while Toni got herself a glass of water. They weren’t really the fighting couple, tried not to be, at least. So there was no point in denying it.

 

“What gave me away?”

 

“Your eyes.”

 

She nodded, reaching through the counter to press a simple kiss on the redhead’s lips. “Well, I need to talk to you about something.” This is the kind of conversation that Cheryl dreaded, definitely.

 

“I figured.”

 

“Yeah. Well, we had an emergency meeting this morning. That’s why I left so early.”

 

Cheryl loved Sundays; they were the days in which she could enjoy Toni’s presence to the fullest. They would lay in bed for at least a few hours more than what was acceptable, eventually have lunch together or just watch Netflix the whole day. She didn’t really care _what_ they were doing, as long as they could spend time together. So, when she woke up that morning and found a note where her sleeping girlfriend should have been; she definitely knew what kind of day this was going to be.

 

“I need you to talk to Archie Andrews.”

 

Of many things Toni could have said, this was not one Cheryl would have expected. She raised an eyebrow, gazing at her questioningly.

 

“I need you to convince him and his monochromatic circle of weirdos to take a step back. Precisely in his Black Hood quest.”

 

“Why? What do the Serpents have to do with that?”

 

After Midge’s death, seeing her body left up there, in such an inhumane way; it scared her. His name, the pattern he followed and even in death, the _torture_ he’d make you suffer. Memories of the opening night came back to her, unasked for. Everything was a blur, panic spread. When she realized that it was not part of the musical, that it was real, it made her knees tremble. Despite the initial numbness of it, when death landed on her, she _sensed_ it. She _recognized_ her even, as you would salute an old friend. If she thought she’d seen the last of it when her father’s corpse hunged from the ceiling, she was wrong.

Then she remembered running, hazily and unconscious of where her legs were taking her. She was acting out of instinct, not something a Blossom would do.

 

It was only when she found Toni and they were cleared to go home; it was only when later, that night, she had the other girl’s arms wrapped around her; it was only then, that her heart stopped beating so hard, she thought it would crash her ribs one by one.

 

“People are scared, Cher. The Southside is – and I quote – “a den of sinners”. They feel targeted and they don’t trust the Northside or Sheriff Keller.”

 

She paused for a second, looking for a reaction in the ginger’s face, but receiving nothing in return.

 

“They trust the Serpents.”

 

That’s when Cheryl Blossom completely forgot about her breakfast. She started picking on her fingers, anxiously. This seemed like a well-known dejàvu to her.

Antoinette Topaz, on the other hand, had never been too good at avoiding things. She had always been _very_ straightforward, so lying to her girlfriend just didn’t seem like an option.

 

“There was a vote and it was decided that _we_ are to act on it. _We will_ protect our people if authorities won’t.”

 

There was such a tenacity in her voice, Cheryl would have found new ways to fall in love with her at just that; if only her girlfriend hadn’t been signing up for her own death.

 

“My people include _you_. We are not letting anything happen to you. _I_ am not letting anything happen to you.”

 

Toni announced, serious. She was tracing the back of the other’s hand with her forefinger. The pink haired girl really believed in this, Cheryl could tell. It scared her.

Truth was, Cheryl’s mind was a battlefield. It was, without a doubt, too much to take in all at once. She needed to take a second to breathe. Too many unpleasant thoughts were fighting for dominance on her next words. To make matters worse, her girlfriend’s persistent stare was really not helping. So, she tried to understand, first.

 

“So what would your plan be?”

 

Cheryl wasn’t sure of how to fully communicate her concern; the agonizing sensation that permeated her skin, her stomach, her jaw. She couldn’t tell if she wanted to kiss every inch of Toni’s body, frightened of what a life without her would be; or if she wanted to punch her pretty face. Really hard.

 

“We’ll draw him out. Jughead will also talk Archie into helping us; but you and the Vixens have power over Riverdale High, one that he doesn’t have.”

 

She really felt as if she were listening to a Commander, giving her directions about their platoon’s next move. Every word she said fueled her nervousness and her stress; so much so she couldn’t sit still anymore. She walked closer to the window, peering at a dark, scary Riverdale. A town that deep down had always terrorized her, no matter how much of a bitch she tried to be; finally showing its true colors.

 

“Babe, we _have_ to do this. No one else is going to.”

 

Toni tried to slip into her silence, tugging a strand of red hair behind her ear.

 

“You don’t _have_ to _do_ anything, Antoinette. You’re a freaking high school student, not an FBI agent, for fuck’s sake!” Cheryl snapped, articulating her intricate preoccupation in the only way she knew how. “Then what?”

 

Toni _knew,_ she understood. Toni loved her and had never pushed her towards anything she wasn’t feeling comfortable with. Because of that, she continued. She lowered her eyes, standing in front of her, but never leaving her hand.

 

(Also, she _knew_ this was serious, her birth name was something Cheryl only used for either really funny or really serious situations.)

 

 

“ ** _He_** has to believe that Archie is going to be down at the bridge, on Tuesday night. Except he’s _not_ going to be there. Well, if Jug manages to persuade him.”

 

Cheryl loved Toni, she really did. She loved her because of her golden pride in who she was; in her sexuality, in where she belonged, in what she liked to do. She loved her because of her relentless love for justice and for what was right; she loved her for being honest. She loved Toni for her bold, fearless self when it came to protecting those she loved.

 

Cheryl loved Toni. She really did.

 

So maybe, just maybe, she could understand this whole vigilante madness. Maybe she could try to support her and maybe she could even try to help her. She could make sure she was safe.

 

 **She could do all of that** , if she just tried to speak up, for once.

If she did more than just glancing over the curtains, from her kitchen window, looking for a distraction. A way out from her very own crystal prison, the one she was building within herself. She observed fondly the lilies she planted with Nana Rose, months before. She specifically looked for two special flowers; two red poppies.  _Blossom_ red poppies. She put them in the garden a long time ago, the day after they found Jason’s body; they made her feel as though _somewhere_ in the universe, in this world, they were together. _Somewhere_ her lifelong best friend was still alive, her favorite person in the world since she was little. He was still there, able to calm her down when she failed to do it herself.

 

“When the Black Hood comes for Archie, Sweet Pea and I will be waiting for him, instead.”

 

 **Except she really couldn’t**. Cheryl suddenly felt animated by an electric rush. It traveled fast through her veins, pumping blood from her heart all the way to her head. She felt dizzy, lightheaded. Leaving Toni’s hand, she held her head in her hands for a second.

 

“Cheryl. Hey. I’m here, baby, look at me.”

 

_No one cares if you cry, Cheryl_

Pushed by something that she still couldn’t name, she sped through the kitchen and the leaving room.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

She wasn’t listening to Toni’s caring words, she blocked them out. Had anyone looked her in the eyes at that very moment, they would have found bloodshot eyes, pure panic in them.

 

No, _her Toni_ could not be a part of this.

She grasped her purse, looking frenetically for the car keys. As she was about to head out, a touch on the shoulder surprised her. Gentle, elegant, kind. As _she_ always had been.

 

Cheryl lost herself even deeper in thought, deeper in the jungle of choices she was forcing herself in.

 

What was she doing?

 

_We scare, manipulate and we make them fear us._

Yeah, that’s what she was doing. She would **_not_** lose the one good thing that ever came to her. Definitely not.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Her words were merely audible, as she shrugged off the loving hand on her shoulder. Then, with just that, she opened the door and left; as swiftly yet sweetly as only a Blossom could.

 

“I love you.”

 

Was what she was not able to hear, on the other side of the door.

The grey, particularly sad walls of Thistlehouse gasped a little when they heard those three words, uttered before them. It was not something they were used to hear, not in that house.


	2. if the world don't break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions, reactions, consequences. Old "friends" reappear, others fight, someone escapes death. Or not?

Her brother died and the whole world seemed to die with him.

She would no longer laugh at his terrible jokes, he would no longer protect her with his snarky comments from their parents.

Now that he wasn’t part of her world anymore - of anyone’s world, Jason’s smile followed Cheryl everywhere. Like a summer dandelion, a bit lost yet extremely beautiful, it would casually fly over her shoulder and rest there for a while.

 

When Cheryl crossed the street, her gaze went to their favorite ice cream place as kids; back when Nana Rose was able to take them for strolls around the neighborhood.

She hadn’t dared to put a step into _that_ library yet, the one in which Nana Rose would read stories about princesses and princes to them.

Jason would find his way to her through books, favorite games or simply through his trophy case picture; right in the middle, as if he were waiting for his sister.

Wherever she went or whatever she did, Jason Blossom was still _there_.

 

However, there was one place in which Cheryl would not even try to escape him.

Au contraire, she was ready to run into his arms, desperate for the safe feeling his presence gave her. With Jason around, she had always felt as if she was _centered_ ; as if she knew what she was doing. She slowly lost that sureness, month by month; to the point where all that was left of it, was the mere façade she put on while walking in Riverdale High’s halls.

There was _one place_ in which she could still sense that feeling.

 

Riverdale’s Bus station.

 

It held too many memories for her to ignore them; too many of them were good, _happy_ , to forget them. So, it was still her favorite place, no matter how loud she could hear Jason’s voice there. When their parents went off the rails, screaming or shouting at them; they would give each other one look and instantly know what the other was thinking. They used to call it Twin Magic as kids. Their secret hideout, their _safe place_.

Very few people would recognize them there, hardly ever they had the nerve to talk to them. No one else besides occasional bystanders and the two Blossoms was there, usually.

 

At first, they would wait until the dust was settled and their parents were entrenched in their bedroom. They would sneak out the window, away from Thornhill and its horrors. They would sit outside of the Station, on their favorite bench, watching as people’s lives went on before them. When they both got older, they simply stopped caring about possible consequences (which often consisted of their phones being blown up by calls and messages for about thirty minutes; radio silence after that).

Jason got his driver license eventually; he drove them to the bus station almost every Thursday night from then on. Those were the little moments Cheryl cherished, she looked forward to their secret quality time together as a family on those evenings. Especially, since Jason would almost ignore her existence every other day at school; and if they weren’t at school he was most likely at Polly’s. But not on Thursdays, no sir, they had plans for Thursday night. No matter _who_ was asking: they had plans. They would get food from Pop’s and just sit there; either exchanging weird stories about their week or just eating in a comfortable silence.

 

Cheryl and Jason were brothers - no, _twins_. Some things didn’t need an explanation.

Twin Magic, remember?

 

So today, lingering for the sensation her big brother gave her (it always annoyed her when he said that, _she_ is older than Jason by six minutes), she doesn’t understand how it’s not enough. How can it not clear her mind and calm her down, as it usually does. She turned off her phone, well aware of the scolding she’ll receive when she’ll show up to her girlfriend’s doorstep again - _good god_ , she’ll never hear the end of it. Yet, Cheryl knows she needs this. She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes. Her hands are grasping the wooden bench she’s sitting on; once of a dark green color, now slowly giving in to time. She’s looking for something to stable herself upon.

It’s not like she doesn’t _know_ Toni is in a gang; oh, she knows. She was there to patch up little cuts and ice dark purple bruises; she was there to hold her and stroke her when all she needed was tenderness. She was _there,_ when while grocery shopping Toni always put an extra Tylenol package in the cart; or extra bandages. She wasn’t acting out like some crazy obsessive girlfriend, she didn’t want Toni to think that. A part of her regretted showing such weakness and vulnerability to the other girl; but then Cheryl remembered who this was about. No need for her paper mask or her fake directed ways; Toni knew her and accepted her from the start. This just inexorably felt like something _different_ ; unique, much more dangerous than a couple of angry ghoulies. This was the _Black Hood_ , who had killed Midge in cold blood and _hanged her up from her wrists_ , in front of an audience. As if he had gotten tired of hiding and acting discreetly; only to turn to a more spectacular serial killer pattern. It scared her.

 

“Are you lost, Blossom?”

 

An unfamiliar voice pushed Cheryl to open her eyes, curious about who it might belong to. Long raven hair, sea green eyes and a cocky smile on his lips; none other than Joaquin DeSantos stood in front of her. He held a bag over his shoulder, seemingly just stepping off the dark grey bus behind him. Looking closer at the screen above their heads, Bus 34 had apparently just arrived. Cheryl looked back at the Serpent, a rush of adrenaline flowing through her veins thinking about him _here_ , in _JJ’s favorite place in the world._

 

“Have been since you and your fellow snakes murdered my brother; you know, the usual.”

 

She replied, narrowing her eyes and never once turning her gaze away. Cheryl didn’t mean it, she really didn’t. She was conscious of the fact that her father killed his brother; not Joaquin and definitely not FP. They had only been paid to hide the body, she had talked it over with Toni and Sweet Pea several times. From what they had told her, he also felt definitely guilty before leaving for San Junipero. Still, Joaquin had been the last one _to hold_ her brother’s lifeless body; the last one to _see_ him.

 

“I swear I wouldn’t have done it if I had a choice. I’m sorry.”

 

He said while sitting down beside her, not bothering to correct her or asking permission to join her. He passed a hand through his hair, turning towards the redhead.

 

“I know.” She was barely able to utter, gritted teeth. “Was he...comfortable? Were you gentle?”

 

“I can tell you he was all in one piece.”

 

Joaquin shut his eyes for a second too much, as if he were trying to recreate that scene in his head, once again. It made Cheryl understand more than she would have wanted to. Waving off a lone tear just under her right eye, she sniffed lightly. Shrugging away the image of a bullet in-between Jason’s eyes, Cheryl poked at the black skinny jeans Toni had landed her.

 

“What are you doing here, anyway?”

 

“Let’s just say I was called to account.”

 

She raised an eyebrow, confused.

She couldn’t remember seeing the guy since the murder had been solved. She knew who Joaquin was, she had seen him at the Drive-In or with Kevin a couple of times; especially at the wild parties he used to attend.

Yet Cheryl had only ever talked to him to ask him for a cup, or a shot of Tequila if he had happened to be closer to the bottle than her. They were introduced by Kevin, sure, just like anybody else had been. As Riverdale’s popular It Girl, though, _lowering herself_ by talking to Serpent scum was not even in question.

After all the dirty secrets that were exposed, though, Cheryl had tried to find closure. By forgiving, by asking questions, by not forgetting Jason Blossom’s life really had happened.

Which of course, poured Joaquin into the mix; even in his absence.

 

And now she was dating a Serpent, she had met them and they couldn’t be more lovely. Cheryl envied them secretly; their family, their connection, their _bond_ . The closest thing she had to a family was Jason and Jason was dead, murdered by her own father. She envied their strength, their bravery and their many ways of showing support to one another. She even envied their laws. There weren’t many things Cheryl _wanted_ as much as a support system like that. Time had passed since the Drive-In and the carefree nights as a partier; a lot of time. The redhead couldn’t quite picture herself as that girl anymore; she didn’t feel like being _just_ the Queen Bee anymore.

 

“Is it because of the Black Hood?”

 

Still, she had no intention of losing her determination nor her straightforward attitude; they were fundamental at times.

 

“I’m not sure if I’m allowed to tell you, but uhm..yeah.”

 

Joaquin shrugged his shoulders as if he had just stated the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“How would you know about him? You haven’t been in Riverdale for months.”

 

This hooded guy who apparently had a kink for sadistic foreplay and knives really started to bother her. Midge’s murder had hit close to home, especially after so much time without pointless deaths. Bother wasn’t the right verb - it _repulsed_ her. A fire was starting into Cheryl’s lungs; one that was soon to be spread throughout her whole body.

 

“Didn’t think you’d notice.”

 

He pulled a smug smile, his cockiness definitely was an explanation as to why Kevin had fallen for him.

 

“Oh, please. Keller’s sad puppy eyes were beyond unbearable after only a month you left.”

 

The Serpent’s expression seemed to darken for a bit; Cheryl noticed how he started playing with a leather bracelet on his left wrist. She didn’t need to ask to know the answer; if she and Toni were separated for a year, she would’ve played with _her_ bracelet as well. They sat in silence for a while. Kevin Keller stole all of their words for a couple of minutes, despite not being physically there.

 

In that silence, Cheryl kept searching for fury and hatred within herself - anything from the petty diva that dominated Riverdale High act would have helped her. _Loathing_ someone, especially if happened a serial killer, made it easier to overcome death. She felt powerless and she hated that feeling with a passion. Part of the reason why often, she almost liked being RHS’s favorite bitch was that she had _control_. Except it cost her other people’s affection; turning it into pity. She _hated_ feeling helpless and it was the reason why she had taken up archery, the reason why she was an Aikido black belt _and_ knew how to use a gun. Her father had taught her. If only she had known he would have used that same gun to put an end to the life she cared about the most; her brother’s.

 

“You would think the Serpent’s very own LGBT circle talks sometimes. I still have a phone.”

 

Joaquin’s voice broke the cascade of thoughts that was turbinating in her mind; his shoulders shrug and amused smile to go with it.

 

“So...you know.”

 

“So, I know.”

 

Cheryl _might_ comprehend what Kevin sees in this guy, now. Not that she would ever confess that to a living soul.

 

“I don’t know what has gotten into me. She told me about your great, amazing, _fantastic_ plan of going after that failure of a Charles Manson ensemble and I...freaked out.”

 

Just as she currently cannot comprehend what pushes her to blurt that much out. Opening up has never been a Cheryl thing to do; not until Toni, at least. Right now, though, she feels the need to do so. She feels the need to take this burden out of her chest, to let her lungs breathe again; a grey, cement grave doesn’t seem to be enough right now.

 

“No serpent is left for dead, Blossom. They are not going to leave each other’s side, and that’s valuable to Toni. The _Serpents_ are valuable to Toni, she’s not going to give them up. You can’t expect that.”

 

He’s sharp but efficient in his answers. Which appeases Cheryl enough to continue.

 

“I don’t. I don’t want that, I know what they mean to her. To be honest, I envy you a little. I wish I had a family like you have; someone to hold on to.”

 

She pauses for a second and she’s pleasantly surprised when Joaquin respects her enough to keep from interrupting her. He stays silent, his eyes fixated on the same leather bracelet as before.

 

“She has been my someone to hold on to. Ever since my brother died I turned to occasional sex, alcohol or drugs to escape from the numbness I’ve been feeling.”

 

She can sense her eyes stinging a little; waiting for tears that she really doesn’t want them to have.

 

“That’s not what it is with Toni. It’s a completely new thing for me and it makes me feel so... _whole_ and brave at the same time; it goes beyond happiness. I don’t want to lose that.”

 

She looks directly at him now. If the redhead girl she knew a year ago saw at this exact moment, she would laugh at her face and then probably yell at her. What is she even doing, right?

 

“And I hate, _hate_ feeling like I can’t do anything to stop this, Joaquin. I hate it. I hate feeling _useless and powerless_ because if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a coward.”

 

“Then why are you acting like one?”

 

“... _Excuse me?_ ”

 

“You closed up. You shut her out and then you disappeared. Isn’t that what cowards do?”

 

His words are sharp, they cut like her mother’s words do, but in a completely different way. They tell the truth; they are not meant to hurt her. They are meant to help her and they shine a new light on her actions. They make her want to run away, as fast as she can, far from that place and the memories that it beholds.

 

She doesn’t.

 

“No, it’s what people that need space to process stuff and think of a **_better_ ** plan do.”

 

“Then tell her that, don’t you think?”

 

Cheryl lets the final piece of her mask crumble, letting her face fall into her arms. She knows she has fucked up, honestly. A tiny, almost non-existent smile caresses her lips; hidden from Joaquin.

She smiles because this guy she’s spent months hating, this guy who was the last to hold Jason’s body, this guy who is a Serpent; he just cracked her code and helped her.

Some would call it a joke; or a life-changing milestone.

 

“You’re aware of how much of a _terrible_ plan it is, right? It needs improvement and fast. Like two days kind of fast.”

 

She states, looking at the fancy rose gold watch on her wrist, while slowly reaching for her turned off phone. Hours have passed since she left the house, that morning; seven to say the least. It will get dark soon.

 

“Exactly why FP called me. Apparently, we’re bringing in the big guns.”

 

Cheryl’s eyebrows puckered, deep in thought. She suddenly felt the rush of adrenaline she had lost months before; the kind of fire she missed and loved about her self. Sunk in the numbness she had felt for a long time, pulling the Blossom Bitch Act was the only thing that could make her feel _alive._ It wasn’t the power she had over underclassmen or the authority she had while practice with the River Vixens. It was the _adrenaline_ that swam furiously in her veins.

 

“I want to help. I want to be one of your big guns. I am a big gun, actually. I am _not_ a coward, I don’t bail.”

 

The Serpent smiled wildly, an astonished expression on his features. Cheryl surprised herself as well with such words, they hadn’t even crossed her mind before exiting her mouth. Her helping the Serpents was a turning point; one thing was to live with them, another was to work with them.

 

“Aren’t you Cheryl _fucking_ Blossom?”

 

“You can bet your ass I am. I’m helping with this 007 templar crusade and we’re _winning this_ . No one can mess with _my_ regressive narrow-minded town.”

 

Joaquin had a strange, heavy gaze on her. His lips were slightly curved, but it wasn’t the cocky smile he had from before. This was different. Was that... _pride_ in a Serpent’s eyes? Satisfaction? Towards her? This day could not get any weirder.

 

“And here I was thinking Fangs and I would have had to get Topaz out of a post-breakup drinking session, later tonight.”

 

“Well, I wouldn’t claim victory so soon.”

 

She turned her phone on, while slowly getting up; the Serpent following her movements.

 

“Am I at least getting a ride out of this?”

 

He inquired with his signature cocky scoff, taking the bag back on his shoulder. They started walking towards Cheryl’s convertible, pacing their steps while the redhead checked her phone.

 

**21 Missed Calls from TT ❤️**

**2 Missed Calls from Jughead Jones**

**4 Missed Calls from Bets**

**16 Messages from TT ❤️**

 

Okay, she had expected a bit of turbulence over her sudden disappearance; surely not a manhunt.

 

“I think we need to head back to the Wyrm.”

 

Joaquin stated it as if it was a serious necessity. Something about his voice was grave, solemn. When Cheryl looked up from her phone, he had already put his bag into the car; waiting for her to join him. His expression was indecipherable, almost sketchy. His gaze wandered around their surroundings like a watchdog does with strangers. He was particularly focused on a higher spot, behind the redhead’s right shoulder. Just as the Blossom was about to turn around, taking out the car keys from her purse; the other Serpent grabbed her forearm, aggressively. He pushed her towards the driver’s door, motioning for her to get in.

 

“Joaquin, what’s-“

 

She wasn’t able to finish that sentence. Steel comets started to swirl uncontrollably around them, producing a rhythmic thumping when they hit the platform of the bus station; or the side of the cherry red car.

Cheryl’s whole body froze for a second, only to be fired up faster and sleeker; as they both sprinted into the vehicle. She struggled for a second with her keys, starting the engine not many seconds later. Everything was happening so fast; she definitely had no time to argue about seatbelts or the disposition of the roof; as she usually would have done.

 

“Go!”

 

The other guy yelled, while still covering himself behind the car door.

There was no intention in sparing any of them, that much was clear from the bullet swarm that was landing on them.

 

Cheryl set her foot on the gas pedal, driving faster than she ever had in her life, probably.

As soon as they were out of there and back on the highway, she felt as she could blink for the first time in ten minutes. When the cold adrenaline that had navigated in her veins slowly started to wear off; she began to feel a stinging pain on her left arm. Not wanting to turn around or tear her attention off the road, she fixed her eyes on the speedometer in front of her.

 

“Are you okay? I think you’re bleeding.”

 

Joaquin asked, still very fazed by what had just happened, as she was. His hands were in his hair, as he turned around to look behind them; probably checking if he was following them for the tenth time.

 

“Did you see him? Was it  ** _him_**?”

 

She didn’t bother to answer the boy’s question; spitting out the pronoun with all the Blossom Ice she had been taught.  ** _Him_ ** was all she could think about, his awful presence invading her mind.

 

“Yes, Blossom. He had a Black Hood.”

 

Cheryl took a deep breath, clinging to the wheel so much her knuckles turned white.

 

“Oh, he’s going to the _depths of hell_ for ruining my convertible.”

  
  


A ferocious Antoinette Topaz slammed the White Wyrm door open; still holding a black helmet from the bike ride. Almost every eye turned to the unexpected noise, loud enough for assumptions throughout the bar to be made. Every single pair of eyes - except one. One figure leaned on the bar, hands steady on the wooden surface. Average height, a Southside Serpent jacket on, red suspenders left down on both sides and an unmistakable stone grey beanie on his head. His back still faced the pink-haired girl when her legs walked furiously towards him, yanking Jughead Jones around. He was now forced to look at her.

 

“I told you I would handle it. What did you do?”

 

She asked, between clenched teeth. The anger that dominated her features was visible, slipping through the cracks. Toni was _trying_ to show herself as mild and collected as she could, to reason instead of act. That proved itself to be useless, several times.

Anyone who knew her even a little in that bar though was aware that this was just the calm before the storm. Toni Topaz was also _not a quitter_. Some of the Serpents, older men who decided they had no business in teenager drama, left smoothly from the back door. Others, on the other hand, were even more eager to see what the outcome would be.

 

“Something needed to be done. She’s been gone for hours.”

 

He stated it as if that had been the wisest choice; the only possible choice. Which enraged Toni even more. She had no hard feelings towards the guy, not at all. He was probably one of her best friends by now, which was another reason why this made her even angrier. Keeping her in the dark could be one thing, but keeping her in the dark from a _Cheryl_ situation; that was just unacceptable.

 

“So what, you sent someone after her? **Where is she, Jones?** ”

 

As the exchange between the two Serpents seemed to get warmer, as the girl took another step closer and then another; Sweet Pea and Fangs unspokenly decided they were going to intervene if it got heated up. Leaving the pool table they were examining a map on, they simultaneously got closer to the pair.

 

“Only Joaquin and only for precaution. He’s with her, there’s nothing to be worried about. I didn't even _send_ him, he was already there.”

 

Jughead was clearly swimming in a pool of uncertainty, he held his hands up as if he were owning up to a crime he didn’t commit. Every single piece of her composed portrait was fading, _fast_. She was going to snap even earlier than she had calculated, if he kept on dancing around it.

 

“I’m her fucking _girlfriend_ , Jug! How would you feel if I did that to you?”

 

There, his soft spot - Betty Cooper. Even he would crack if she disappeared - hell, he would unleash chaos if it happened to him. So why was everybody so _not on her side_?

Toni breathed in, pulling the boy’s leather jacket towards her, aggressively.

 

“ **Where is she?** If you make me ask another time, it’ll be the one my knife inquires for me.”

 

Sweet Pea put his big hands on each one of their shoulders, trying to separate them slowly. Not even him was capable of distracting her right now, nothing was. The pink-haired Serpent was focused on her task; after all, there was a logic behind her good grades, just as there was a logic behind each one of her moves in a fight.

 

“Do you really want to do this here and now, Tiny? Just think about it”

 

“Don’t give me a motive Pea, stay out of this.”

 

Jughead was still looking at her with an overconfident gaze; she would not allow him to interfere with her relationship. He was the Serpent King’s son, _surely_ not her romantic advisor.

Just as Fangs gripped on the younger Jones’s back to hold him back and Sweet Pea grabbed on her shoulders to do the same (easily lifting her from the ground, all the while squirming lividly into his arms); the door to the Southside Serpents’ hideout opened once more. As busy as Toni was to charge her best friend with well-placed punches, she didn’t notice where everybody’s eyes were. Jughead’s eyes widened, taking his beanie off with one hand while holding onto Fangs with the other. Frosting ice ran into the pink-haired girl’s veins, she dreaded turning around for a second.

 

“I think you just found her, Toni.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> Here we are with another chapter, I know there wasn't much Choni in this one, but I swear it was necessary to the story. I promise you will get more in the next few chapters! Also, I'll start to update and post in general more frequently now that school is out and we're officially on a hiatus. 
> 
> I would like to thank you all for reading and leaving all the kudos you left (and are leaving), when I posted this story I would never have thought it'd get this much attention. Thank you so much!  
> Let me know what you think and if you didn't like it I would love to improve!
> 
> See ya next chapter! ;)


	3. i think you left an earthquake here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's the aftermath of a scary shooting?  
> Could this day get any more horrible for these kids?  
> Could I ever be a crueler writer?  
> And who's that?
> 
> You gotta read to know!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yes, this took forever to write; I am really sorry for the huge delay.  
> Not because it was complicated or because I was lazier than I usually am, I really struggled writing for a while. Luckily, I was able to slowly get my inspiration back and working!
> 
> This could be described as a "transitioning" kind of chapter, not lots of Choni but I promise way MORE will come out from this.  
> Chapter Four is already into making, hope you guys like it!

 

When she was little, it used to be her favourite colour.

It was the colour of cherries, strawberries and the walls in her mother’s room. It made her feel safe because it was a constant reminder of the woman. Her first dress ever had been of a light crimson; she was ten and it was required for a wedding their family had been invited to.

She was definitely not used to  _that much_  red all around them, though. A shade of red which, she decided right about now, she didn’t particularly like. Dark, profound,  _bloody_ red. Covering every surface it had the opportunity to cover.

A white, V-neck t-shirt under a Serpents jacket. Pale skin, a black lacey top. Hands, fingers. It was anywhere her eyes lay.

 

Red usually made her smile, it made her think of Cheryl; sometimes it even  _turned her on_.

This red though, this one was a completely different deal.

The sight of blood had made Toni’s knees shake and tremble since she was twelve; which was very funny for a Serpent. It had started with her mother vomiting blood in the toilet of their trailer; from that moment on, she would get lightheaded or even faint at the sight of blood. Few people knew about her...difficulty; Cheryl, Sweet Pea, Jughead.

Well, Fangs only knew because of a rather embarrassing and drunk Truth or Dare night.

Therefore, blood on her  _girlfriend_  sounded even more apocalyptic.

 

Toni’s entire perception of her surroundings blurred for a couple of seconds. She felt as if she had seen the scene slow-moted; as if it had been a cheap, blockbuster movie.

Starring  _her_  Cheryl Blossom as the main lead.

Toni wasn’t one of the characters, Toni was the whole audience.

Her body though was frozen, almost as if someone had glued it to the ground as a joke. Desperate to speak up, help. Unable to do so.

 

Joaquin had kicked the door open, carrying Cheryl firmly in his arms. The entire bar grew silent, waiting for a reaction, a signal; Toni’s brain froze. It felt incredibly different and unusual; she was so used to logical thinking and reasoning, this was unknown territory. Her eyes were fixed on the dim complexion of Cheryl’s arm. She was holding her left shoulder with her free hand, clearly hurting from the expression on her face. While trying to wake her body up from the immobilizing fear it had fallen into, Toni moved her worried gaze on Cheryl’s face now. Joaquin was shouting out orders for everyone to follow; bring him that, clear that table. To her, the redhead was everything she could see; how would you feel if the sky suddenly turned pitch-black and no star was there to brighten the mood? No sun, no stars. That’s all she was able to see in those horrible seconds; a dark, lonely sky. Cheryl was her sun and her moon, brightening up her sky. And they disappeared right in front of her eyes. The guy then laid her on a pool table and finally Toni felt her legs moving towards it.

 

“Baby, I swear I’m fine. I don’t have the slightest idea as to why this  _barbarian_  has been bossing me around. I am perfectly fine.”

 

The smile that followed those words was empty and forced.

The pink-haired girl fought hard against the triggering flashes that ran through her brain; not able to control them, as usual. Definitely able to ignore them, though. Cheryl needed her girlfriend, no matter how she tried (and failed) to partly cover her injury.

 

 

Everyone followed orders obediently because Joaquin had much more control over them than Cheryl; although one could understand why some of them would be a little terrified in doing so.

A few moments earlier, Toni had felt herself quiver over the thought of possibly losing the beautiful, confident girl sitting on the pool table.

Now, Toni felt herself shake over the warm, blind anger that came along with the thought of her being hurt.

 

“Joaquin,  _what happened_?”

 

Her jaw was clenched and her hands closed in fists, begging for a crash on someone’s face. She wanted someone to pay for what the pain might have been like; she needed someone to be guilty.

Joaquin turned around, placing his hands on his hips slowly. Jughead, Sweet Pea and Fangs also walked closer to the table, shielding them from any prying ears. Toni could now sense a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder; which she only assumed would be Sweet Pea’s.

One of their oldest Serpents, Harley, - Toni was pretty sure his real name was Steve and how could you trust a  _Steve_  with the love of your life? – started to clean up Cheryl’s wound.  She seemingly wasn’t too happy about it, by the look on her face, but reluctantly agreed. She held Toni’s hand tight, both to calm her down and to calm herself down. Gently stroked her fist until she would let her intertwine their fingers. As impervious as she tried to be about her “scratch”, Toni still knew she was scared as hell.

 

“The Black Hood happened. He started shooting at us relentlessly, my guts say probably with an MK-14; then a handgun when he ran out of bullets.”

 

He paused for a second and locked his eyes on Cheryl; the glances they were sharing did not amuse Toni at all. As if he couldn’t decide between saying too much and not saying enough.

 

“ _Joaquin_.”

 

Jughead said expectantly out of the blue, his gaze was dark and commanding.

If any of them happened to overpower the guy, that would have been Jughead, next in line as Serpent king. Toni was very glad to have him on her side if there even were sides.

 

Joaquin lowered his voice, hoping that only those around him and Cheryl could hear.

 

“It was an ambush, Jones. I don’t know  _how or why_ , but he _knew_  we were there.”

 

Those words seemed to halt their minds for a quick second; a betrayal among their ranks wasn’t totally out of the ordinary. In desperate situations, people had decided to turn their back on them or to switch sides over to the Ghoulies. This seemed like a desperate measure for desperate times, yes, but allying with  _the Black Hood?_

 

“We can’t know for sure  _who_  he was aiming at. He only started shooting when you came along; he had an entire afternoon of time to take me by surprise and he didn’t do it.”

 

The redhead in question interrupted what was likely a collective train of thought, shooting a reprehensive look to the taller guy. She acted so naturally, it was disarming, really. The same tranquillity she would be explaining a History project with. Toni, on the other hand, sensed her own heart crumble a little thinking of the possibility of Cheryl dying. No, Cheryl being murdered. It would felt have so out of place for the tremendous HBIC to fall so easily into the arms of death; mostly because of Toni, too. She was the reason her girlfriend felt so powerless and lost, the girl had needed some fresh air.

 

Jughead pressed a hand on the back of his neck and barely answered; while he visibly processed all the new information. Anyone would also be entitled to wonder why Betty wasn’t here already, wasn’t she Cheryl’s cousin other than a-maybe-Serpent?

 

“Stay out of this, Cheryl. You were shot.”

 

It sounded so arrogant, even Toni’s eyebrows narrowed – out of all of them, she usually was the more adamant one to justify and support him, even when she didn’t agree with his decisions-. As the pink-haired girl opened her mouth to intervene, Cheryl’s hand slipped away from hers. The redhead quickly got up, no matter how paler her face quickly became and how much  _Steve_ fought to keep her sat down.

 

 

“You beanie wearing caricature of a leader are the last person in this room who can  _ever_  as much as suggest that I’d shut up, Jones. And second, the bullet grazed me, thank you.”

 

That made Sweet Pea and Fangs, our favourite next-door Serpents, realize it was going to be a long night.

 

“Oh, boy! Here we go.” The first one said, trying to hide his mouth with his hand. Fangs laughed as quietly as he could, which still granted him the stink eye from Toni.

 

 

“You weren’t there.” Then she pushed him easily, preventing the beginning of a sentence he later would have regretted.

 

“You were here, sending hunting dogs after me, manipulating  _my girlfriend_ to involve me in your stupid, concealed plans.”

 

“Dude, you told her that?” Was the only thing he was able to say out of the Blossom’s speech, while Joaquin shrugged his shoulders in response.

 

Toni’s face would have been funny to see if you were sadist enough to enjoy confusion. She loved Cheryl deeply and the few times they fought, they would make up shortly after. Yet, getting her mad was not a smart thing to do, the whole Riverdale was aware of that. To Toni, this outburst didn’t sound like the usual bickering between her significant other and one of her best friends.

 

“You have no right whatsoever to tell me I shouldn’t be a part of this, you hobo. I  _protected_  your father,  _your_   king;”

 

She turned to the rest of them, pointing a finger to Joaquin specifically.

 

“After you threatened me with the video of my murdered brother, Jones; I still lied under oath for you.” This had a lot of people’s attention; it probably wasn’t public information.

Oh well, she wasn’t sorry.

 

“You did  _what_ , again?”

Toni especially, who was learning about this just now. As mad as she could sense herself getting – is there a stage  _madder_  than mad? - she also knew this wasn’t the time or place. The former Serpent king lowered his eyes, still not saying a word, holding his beanie. Shame looked good on him.

 

“I earned my place in this goddamn bar and I might not have stood by you guys before, but I sure as hell will now. I know this is hard to hear but whether you like me or not, I’m here and we  _need_  to come up with something.”

 

Cheryl’s brown eyes were harsh and serious; still pointing at their raven-haired target. Harley/Steve motioned for her to get back on the table, so he could finish patching her up. Although this might look like the usual going back and forth between a Jones and a Blossom, it is clear that it holds some grudges that were never sorted out.

This is about whether or not Cheryl is allowed to be here, to this table, the decision-making table. Whether or not her presence among the Serpents in the last months has been vain, or in any way useful, wanted. As much as Jughead’s decisions are often discussed and fought head-on by some of them; his benevolence still has its power.

 

 

“This is riveting, I can’t breathe!”

 

A very amused Fangs Fogarty whispered to the ears of his best friend.

It was silence for a couple of seconds; a heavy, tangible silence.

Then, the White Wyrm fell into a round of polite applauding, people agreeing and others blowing their lungs off.

 

They are a gang of big-bad thugs no doubt on that; still, that does not mean they are not welcoming if they mean to. It reminded Jughead of his first few times at the Wyrm, back when he wasn’t quite sure of where he stood.

FP Jones had never been the kind of leader that reigned on fear or rejection. He was smart enough to know his people needed one accepting place in a town that saw them as nothing more than thieves and criminals. And when you thought about it, what difference did Cheryl Blossom make? Repudiated by her own parents, threatened by her own mother. They were more alike than he could admit.

He was not going to change his father’s method. It had been able to keep the peace until then.

The former king closed his eyes and turned around, mentally preparing himself for an apology to  _the_  River Vixen’s captain later. He put his beanie back on, breathing in. It’d been one hell of a night. If you bothered to flip the coin, you could notice how little you could blame the guy.

 

“Real passionate, but none of this is helping the situation here.”

 

Sweet Pea tried to point out, determined. His observation went unnoticed as his friends’ attention was temporarily grasped by what happened around them.

 

To his surprise, Cheryl was not surfing on her newly achieved popularity, or bragging about it. She let the elder paramedic dress her wound and even then, she just smiled and waited it out.

It goes on for a whole, long minute before it gradually starts to fade.

It was a well-mannered clapping, not too crazy, not too shallow.

 

Finally, hands stopped cheering, voices quit shouting.

All but a pair of them, still clashing together at a weirdly slow rhythm.

It got closer and closer, each clap more annoying as whoever produced the sound in question walked up to them.

 

“Wow! I would never have pegged  _you_  as the Snakes wannabe leader, Pea. Trying to steal the crown?” The girl that now blandly caressed Toni’s cheek, had ebony skin and dark green eyes. She walked with such a poise, you could recognize her from a mile away.

 

“Remember what happened last time he acted out, Nette?” Toni’s expression adjusted quickly to the new entrance, becoming  _very_  bothered. She slapped away that hand from her face, remaining silent.

“I’m pretty sure you were naked just underneath me.”

 

Is the last thing the girl said before Toni blew a punch to her jaw and everything accelerated too quickly. People poured everywhere, in the attempt to separate the two girls. Cheryl pushed Joaquin aside while Sweet Pea and Fangs lifted them both and dragged them to opposite sides of the room.

 

“Who the  _hell_  is that and could this day get any fucking worse?”

 

The redhead asked grabbing Joaquin’s white t-shirt, aggressively. She hardly ever swore, yet today we can definitely grant her a pass.

Her arm still ached from the sudden movement she had to do, moving on and off the table. Her girlfriend was caught up in a fight with a weird, gorgeous girl and she couldn’t do anything except being worried.

 

She was  _tired._

 

“That’s Marissa. Sweet Pea  _and_  Toni’s ex.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
